Please, don't die a copy.

　

     I was reading about Aquarius females a few days ago, and it was discussing how we're the 'oddest' of all zodiac signs. When i read that line, my heart smiled beamingly, along with my face, and i even felt my posture perk up like a proud, cocky rooster. Then i immediately busted out in a short giggle after reading the the next line which said something to the affect of : "And just like Capricorns are proud of their stubbornness, and Pisces, their charm, Aquarians could not be more prouder of the eccentricity they posses." I couldn’t help but to be amused at how my response to the first line did nothing but reflect how true this really is.
    After contemplating this like a true contemplater would, it made me rewind back to two weeks ago when I had found out someone i had (at the time) considered a close friend, went behind my back and talked about 'weird' i was. And not weird in a complimentary way. Weird as in, idiot, nerd, freak show of a girl.
     I remember how i dissected my feelings about this therally. I scanned my conscious, my subconscious, heart, mind and even my soul to the absolute best of my ability. It didn’t take me that long to realize that i wasn’t hurt at what he had called me; (What did however, hurt me is.. that he felt the need to pretend to be my friend, all to go behind my back and put me down as if i was nothing. What I’m saying is, i don’t like the fact that he was fake with me. The way i see it is, If you don’t like someone, simply don’t bother with talking to them. Buuut, apparently being a two faced, bath salt snorter is way less worse in his eyes, than to be quote, unquote 'weird'.)
    But, anyyyways... Me, being gifted with more Nancy Drew traits than Nancy Drew herself, i couldn’t help but to question my own self. Why didn’t it bother me that he called me weird? Why didn’t that word bother me? Why didn’t it embarrass me, and why didn’t it make me want to examine who i am as a person and maybe even consider changing some of my...erm..weirdness?
     I finally came up with the conclusion that, to myself, the word 'Weird' means Different. Unusual, and, someone that marches to the beat of a different drummer.
And I'm pretty sure that’s what it means to everyone else as well. But I’m also pretty sure that most people would snarl their nose and have a hint of disgusted in their voice while reading that definition. As opposed to myself...I read it and it sounds as if my voice is skipping through a field of daisy's and on its way to heaven. Lol.
     I know It's probably hard to believe but, I'm being totally honest when i say that I take the word 'weird' as a total and complete compliment. Because that means I'm an individual, and don’t have to mold myself to the trends, mindsets and ways of the world. I allow myself to freely be who i really am.
     I will be the first to admit that I have a lot of quirks, and I'd also be the first to start freely pointing them out,and perhaps even laugh at them with you! Not only would i do that but, I would 100% agree with anybody who says I have a very unusual way of looking at both people and things.... and an even more unusual way of going about life itself. Because all of that could not be more true.
     And... So what?! Lol. That makes me bad? You choose to look over the fact of how kind, generous and caring someone is, and judge them simply b/c they are different than you? Um, can you say, small minded?
       I really believe when you call someone weird and are meaning it in a negative way, you are saying "You should be more like me. My flaws, my mistakes, my personality and preference quirks are way more "Normal" to have than yours. Therefore, you're a really big idiot for being the way that you are. Quite frankly: I am better than you and i have every right to put you down because I after all, I am above you."
   Let's all take a moment and ask ourselves, What kind of person would say that other than someone that's just about as immature as they could ever possibly be, not to mention,heartless?
      Shew, but...wait a minute...As i type this. I'm beginning to realize something. Yes, people that make fun of others for being different happen to be very immature. But maybe calling them a "heartless person" is too...cruel of a term? But, perhaps "a very scared person" is a better one? What i mean is: It takes someone who is really brave, and almost even fearless to be their authentic selves and refuse to change regardless of who rejects them, or even laughs at them. It's in a way saying "I dont want to be alone, but, i'd rather you reject me for who i really am,rather than love me for who I am not. Even if I'm never accepted, I’m never going to be anything other than my real self. Take it or leave it."
       If you consider how afraid we all are of lonely, saying something like that takes alot. (I myself say that all the time. Maybe not aloud, but in my heart, its a mantra.)
Thereforeeee, If an authentic person is brave for being authentic. Wouldn’t it make someone that changes who they are based on what others think, a very fearful person? Because isn’t allowing fear to paralyze you (or to cause you to change choices or paths), the opposite of being brave?
       You could be saying: "Waiiiit a minute. Just because someone makes fun of someone for being different... why does that have to mean they're faking who they are?"
          I would then ask you, HOW could a person that was comfortable with sharing their own thoughts, feelings, and even dressing the way THEY like or anything else that expresses individuality, be so small minded to want to judge someone else for being just as self expressive as they are being themselves?
     A person that’s free and willingly to follow their heart regardless of what anyone else says, is 99% most likely going to be accepting of anyone elses differences and probably even appreciate them for it...Are you following me?


Soooo, in my opinion :-)... It takes a very scared and socially self conscious person to be willing to make fun of someone else for being different.
Because, like i stated above, if you're all about being yourself and expressing it as freely as you'd like, you would be just as supportive for the next person who was doing the exact same thing.Right? 
    Therefore, all of that leads me to believe when you aren't supportive of other's differences, it means you aren't supportive of your own as well. And you are most likely hiding them and doing what everyone else does. And accepting what everyone else accepts. And thinking what everyone else thinks...and listening to.... and wearing..You are a follower.No need to debate it.:-)
      Even  if you are what you would consider the leader in this group of followers...Haven't you ever watched the type of movies where there's a gang, and the leader seems in charge of it all,but alone he's really the most haunted, tortured soul of them all? Not to mention everyone else in the group talks about him behind his back. So if this fits your persona, per se`. Or rings any type of bell for you... perhaps you would consider choosing another route, eh? Or atleast stop lieing to yourself. Atleast veiw it for what is and not be in such hardcore denial like the person that made fun of me happens to be in.


To anyone that's been called weird and has gotten hurt by it. Let me just start off by saying, I'm sorry for the hurt. But I’m so unexplainably proud of you for being brave enough to be yoruself. It's so hard to find an original person out there these days, so consider yourself in a very sacred club. Dust yourself off. And continue to be who you are. Never let anyone make you feel intimidated and as if they are better than you. Because we are ALL the same in God's eyes. And he is the only judge worth answering to. My prayer for you is that you continue you to be brave, and be your unbridled self. Because they're is nothing more beautiful than a real, genuine person. I promise.

To anyone that has been the 'bully', for lack of a better term. I'm not gonna say shame on you, though i want to. I am however going to say, loosen up. I know we all want acceptance, we all want to have a little niche we fit in. But putting others down for being their selves, when that's the very thing you're SCARED of doing, makes no sense. If you want to hide who you are, and choose to be a follower, then by all means, you have the right to choose that. But to go out of your way to make fun of someone for doing the very thing YOU should be doing, is just flat out ignorant to be frank about it. My prayer for you is: If you don’t become brave enough to be who God made you to be, at least leave the ones that are fearless enough to do so, alone. Because, words really do hurt and not one person is this world better than someone else. Therefore nobody has the right to put another person down based on their differences. Don't pretend like you don't know the saying.."If we were all the same, life would be so boring." As cliche` and as worn out as that qoute may be, it really is so purely true. I also pray you some day you find yourself. And by praying that, I'm praying for you to be as liberated as one could ever be.


Now that i got that out of my system, I feel like i need to make it clear that I'm not saying AIM to be different. I am, however saying to aim to be YOURSELF and if the real you differs from the rest of the people around you, so what? Be yourself, and do so proudly. God made us so intricately and with such time and devotion. Don't hide his masterpiece because of all the small minded people that are doing that very thing their selves and are missing out on a full life while they're at it. 


Please, take it from me, when you are who you are with no apologizes you are not only accepted, but marveled at.

With all my love, Kayla Kabree